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Cabernet De Tantrum 2023 Full Bottle Showcase

96 POINTS (MIME CRITICS) FLAGSHIP VINTAGE

CABERNET DE TANTRUM 2023

Mime Complaint Theme: "Someone touched my invisible glass box without consent"

$28.99 / bottle

BUY 12+ BOTTLES: Save 20% auto-applied at checkout ($23.19 / bottle)

VARIETAL Cabernet Sauvignon (100% Petty)

ALCOHOL BY VOL. 14.5% ABV

REGION / ESTATE Tantrum Basin, Napa Valley

CLOSURE TYPE Natural Cork (Silent Pull)

📦 Delivered in climate-controlled soundproof boxes
🍷 Guaranteed 100% satisfaction or full refund upon silent review
🔒 Direct compliance routing managed by apoormeme.com

THE WHINE PROFILE BREAKDOWN

Unlike standard Napa Cabernets that emphasize blackberry or subtle earth, Cabernet De Tantrum undergoes primary fermentation inside high-pressure emotional containment chambers. Here is the sensory breakdown:

Unwarranted Victimhood 40%

Passive Aggression 30%

French Oak Aging 20%

Pure Unfiltered Bitterness 10%

SOMMELIER TASTING NOTES

Visual: Deep, brooding garnet red with thick tears running down the walls of the glass—symbolizing the tears of a mime whose performance went entirely unappreciated by tourists.

Aroma: Heavy notes of dark cassis, cedar, and an unmistakable aroma of silent indignity.

Palate: Gripping tannins on the entry, followed by a mid-palate wave of theatrical despair that lingers indefinitely into a dry finish.

FEATURED MIME GRIEVANCE TRANSCRIPT

MIME PIERRE "THE WALL" DUBOIS TARGET OF GRIEVANCE: PARK BENCH TOURISTS

[Transcribed via Silent Gesture Analysis]: "I spent forty-five uninterrupted minutes crafting an invisible glass box of pristine, museum-grade architectural perfection. Then, two tourists sat on my imaginary windowsill to eat hotdogs. They didn't even notice the imaginary glass breaking. I gave them my most dramatic, hands-on-face silent scream, and they asked me for directions to mimeCON.com. Unbelievable."

* Translated into English by Chief Mime Sommelier Mark Nemke for LegallyWine.com

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